Friday, March 21, 2008


The last of the out-house generation
For Shirley Valentine***
***Shirley reminded me about how we all had out-houses, and what is was like in the winter (brrrrrrrrrr).
Inspired by Shirley's lovely e-mail
Tromp, tromp, tromp....
Not a tired soldier
A gray little shack looms in the distance,
And I walk slower as I near it
...wishing I were bolder
Opening that creaking door
Checking for snakes upon the floor
Are there spiders anywhere
...waiting to join my seated fanny; possibly my
Goose-bumps they'll want to share
Goose-bumps; little lumps - rise up
All over my body
All because it's winter; it's late at night,
And I had to go 'to potty'......
Oh yes, I looked under the bed; the cold
Enameled vessel bid me sit
I felt the icy edge touch my leg;
Yet since I wasn't doing #1 that I could easily toss
I didn't want to clean up my smelly sh..........t
I was so glad constipation hadn't gripped me
At least that wasn't part of my 'decision dilemma'
Because then Mom would come; syringe in hand,
And that nasty thing called 'an enema'
So, decision made; tromp, tromp, tromp....
The snow crunches as I walk
A flashlight is safely in my hand
I look around for ghosts; the moon is bright,
And I begin to talk........
I talk to myself; assure myself that there's
No one who lives in the city
Who faces this daily and nightly 'chore'
But, hey, they're 'sorely neglected' because
They don't get to do
Then one Sunday we go to visit; some friends who live
In Battle Creek
We enjoy their running water
We use their bathroom; love the toilet,
But we get puzzled by the roll of toilet paper
When it's a Sears' Catalog we seek.
Now we're running to the park - happy to see a swing
We climb the fence; glide down the slide
We're so happy with this outing
...yes, we all begin to sing.
Then a couple passing by tell us we're too loud
We quiet - go to the ice cream store; wait in line
(gee, there's such a crowd)!
We realize we're not prepared for this 'city war'
While we dodge the charging cars and trucks
(gad, what is all this turmoil and confusion)?
This city really 'ain't' so great;
in fact I'd say - IT SUCKS!
Tromp, Tromp, Tromp - but with a lighter step
Skip - jump a little; smile about this
'special trip' - no longer feeling those city folk have it 'better'
Tromp, skip; ask myself if I'm glad I'm 'country-folk',
and as I answer "Yes"...
old Bossy puts her head
Over the fence and moos...
I guess I'll stop and pet her.

Love, Diane - for my life-long friend, Shirley (Valentine) Salisbury

Written: January 8, 2008